Revised Opening Paragraph for Clarion Article on DU Winter Break
What did you do over break? Travel Europe or visit family one state over? Work at a coffee shop? Or did you sleep and watch tv every day, all day long, for six weeks? I know I did. And maybe that isn’t such a great thing. We all need our sleep after that first quarter of the year, of course, but six weeks of it? That seems a little unnecessarily long. DU’s winter break is two weeks longer than the majority of colleges nationwide, and maybe we should change that, putting an extra week on Spring Break, or adding it to our summer vacation. Sadly though, this might be harder than it sounds.
Two Places to Add in 1 Sentence Paragraphs:
At the end of the fourth paragraph, she should break off the last sentence and make it a paragraph of its own: “A shorter winter break would be a worthy sacrifice for an earlier release date for spring quarter.” It would emphasis this idea that she has.
Add in a sentence between the 8th and 9th paragraph: “We could keep the dorms open over Thanksgiving break.”